One Vicious Little Guttersnipe

Reflections on Jasmine Crockett, Congressional Queen of the F-Bomb

“Sure, I’m an ignoramus—but that’s only because I’m stupid.”

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Though there’s some pretty stiff competition for the title, Representative Jasmine Crockett of Texas has a strong claim on the title of Dumbest Democratic Member of Congress.

Crockett hits every mark. She’s a thoroughly unpleasant person: strident, foul-mouthed, ever ready to deal the race card from the bottom of the deck and slap it down. In 2024, she floated the idea that as a form of reparations, black Americans should be exempt from taxes. Her ideas on foreign policy are well represented by her claim that Donald Trump is “Putin’s hoe.” Crockett’s mode of discourse resembles that of an insult comic, as when she reviled her House colleague, Representative Marjorie Taylor Green, as a “bleach blonde, bad built, butch body.” Not long afterwards, Crockett filed a trademark application for rights to the phrase.

In short, Jasmine Crockett is a vicious little guttersnipe—whom naturally the denizens of the online Resistance Left love. And why not? She speaks in their authentic voice: vulgar, profane, and hysterical. “Somebody slap me and wake me the fuck up because I’m ready to get on with it“—Crockett’s reaction to the President’s address to Congress last week—is a typical specimen of her eloquence.

The comrades experience a thrill up the leg whenever something like that spills from Crockett’s ever-loose potty mouth. They seem actually to believe that her antics model the strategy that the Democratic Party should be following: Get in MAGA’s face! Rant and scream invective! Don’t just speak but shriek truth to power! Well, if a barrage of f-bombs is all that’s needed to vanquish Führer Trump and Gauleiter Musk, “our democracy” may yet be saved.

But wait, there’s more! To all these unsavory personality traits, Jasmine Crockett adds a level of ignorance buttressed by stupidity that few of the comrades can match.

Recently, she gave a demonstration of that ignorance and stupidity with a laughably false claim: entering the United States illegally is not a crime but merely a “civil accusation.” In an interview on MSNBC’s The Katie Phang Show, Crockett elaborated:

They [the Trump Administrations and Republicans] continue to say things like “the illegals” and that they broke the law coming in. But what they’re not telling the American people is that it is a civil violation. It is not a criminal violation to enter the country illegally. It’s not. It’s not criminal. It’s not a crime. It’s not a crime.”

Sorry to inform you, Jasmine, but it is. It is criminal. It is a crime. It is a crime. And it’s all laid out in 8 USC 1325: Improper entry by alien:

(a) Improper time or place; avoidance of examination or inspection; misrepresentation and concealment of facts

Any alien who (1) enters or attempts to enter the United States at any time or place other than as designated by immigration officers, or (2) eludes examination or inspection by immigration officers, or (3) attempts to enter or obtains entry to the United States by a willfully false or misleading representation or the willful concealment of a material fact, shall, for the first commission of any such offense, be fined under title 18 or imprisoned not more than 6 months, or both, and, for a subsequent commission of any such offense, be fined under title 18, or imprisoned not more than 2 years, or both.

(b) Improper time or place; civil penalties

Any alien who is apprehended while entering (or attempting to enter) the United States at a time or place other than as designated by immigration officers shall be subject to a civil penalty of-

(1) at least $50 and not more than $250 for each such entry (or attempted entry); or

(2) twice the amount specified in paragraph (1) in the case of an alien who has been previously subject to a civil penalty under this subsection.

Civil penalties under this subsection are in addition to, and not in lieu of, any criminal or other civil penalties that may be imposed.

(c) Marriage fraud

Any individual who knowingly enters into a marriage for the purpose of evading any provision of the immigration laws shall be imprisoned for not more than 5 years, or fined not more than $250,000, or both.

(d) Immigration-related entrepreneurship fraud

Any individual who knowingly establishes a commercial enterprise for the purpose of evading any provision of the immigration laws shall be imprisoned for not more than 5 years, fined in accordance with title 18, or both.

A “civil accusation”—whatever Crockett meant by that term—does not get a person fined or sent to prison. It was she, not the Trump Administration, not the GOP, who was providing the American public with misinformation or, if you will, fake news.

Well, you may say, anybody can make a mistake. But Crokett happens to be an attorney, and one would think that an attorney would at least do some legal research before spouting off on a legal issue. Had she done so, this redoubtable Resistance Warrior and Scourge of Trump would have avoided embarrassing herself on television.

But what am I thinking? A creep like Jasmine Crockett is armored against embarrassment. She can always fall back on the claim that any and all criticism coming her way is motivated by fear and hatred of that rare species, “a strong woman of color.” I don’t deny that the type exists, but a remarkably large percentage of those who claim the title are anything but.

The larger lesson to be drawn from Crockett’s pratfall—indeed, from her entire public career—is that a significant percentage of the information emanating from the Resistance Left is either distorted or plainly false. You hear, for instance, that MAGA is plotting to re-enslave black people or deprive women of the vote. Admittedly these are extreme examples, but then there are the charges, scarcely more credible, that Trump & Co. are plotting to destroy Social Security and Medicare, starve children, kick veterans to the curb, invade Canada and Greenland, etc., etc.

Just remember, crap like that is being put out by people who think that Representative Jasmine Crockett, Democrat of Texas, the F-Bomb Queen and Prize Ignoramus of Congress, is a great American.