Notes on the Way
It’s de Nile for Joe, Taco Jill rides again, Kamala waves the bloody flag, Bee gone
Since more or less forever, the definition of recession has been simple and straightforward: two consecutive quarters of economic contraction. Ah, but we have the Biden Administration to thank for a long-overdue correction. It being very possible that this week’s report on the economy will show just such a second quarter of contraction, the President and his minions are all over the media, patiently explaining to the clueless American people that, no, it’s much more complicated than that! See, the definition of recession is actually uber-complex, shot through with nuance, ambiguity and loopholes. So shut up, already, and quit the complaining—the economy is is great shape! That’s our Joe, whitewater rafting down a river in Egypt…
Our slapstick First Lady, the inimitable Dr. Jill, spilled salsa down her front recently as she attempted to rally the Latinx troops ahead of the midterm elections. To judge from the results, it was as if she figured, well, they’re abandoning us anyway, so why not give our former amigos a boot in the behind as they hit the door? So the Good Doctor went on a diversity riff, culminating in the observation that Hispanic Americans are “as unique as the breakfast tacos here in San Antonio.” Yes, her speechwriter actually jotted that down, and Dr. Jill actually read it—and her audience was not amused. But now she’s trumped her own ace with a sob story to the effect that her husband’s hopes and dreams for America had been stamped upon by—events. Who, oh who, could have foreseen the multiple disasters that have befallen our absurd president since January 20, 2021? “He’s just had so many things thrown his way,” she sighed. Yeah, well, that’s pretty much in the job description of the presidency, wouldn’t you say, Doc…?
Vice President Word Salad, er, Kamala Harris, has added another issue to her bulging portfolio: abortion. We’re told that she’s become the voice of abortion rights on behalf of the Biden Administration, and that she’ll be on the road from now to November, waving the bloody flag of abortion on demand in response to the Supreme Court’s overthrow of Roe v. Wade. The obvious political objective is to whip up the Democratic Party base ahead of the midterm elections, which are looking dire indeed for the Dems. What, couldn’t they have found someone who can speak off the cuff without sounding like a kindergarten teacher addressing her students? Abortion is an issue. It’s a serious issue that the President and I take seriously. Just as you take it seriously. And pregnant people too. By which I mean people who menstruate. Except when they’re pregnant, then they don’t. Menstruate. Because seriously, as we know, people of all genders, and there are many, truly are serious, very serious, in the most serious way, about abortion. I don’t know about you, but I’m seriously looking forward to Kamala’s pro-abortion tour.
I watched Samantha Bee’s late-night comedy show, Full Frontal, exactly once, an ordeal I wouldn’t care to repeat. And now I don’t have to worry about that dread possibility, because after seven laugh-free years, TBS has canceled Bee’s Emmy-nominated (which means that she never won an Emmy) yawnfest. Well, no wonder—Bee and her fellow late-night comedians lost the plot long ago. Here’s what passes for comedy in her circle. Trump’s so stupid, haw haw haw. Republicans are fascists, haw haw haw. Red states are so icky, haw haw haw. Well, even conceding for the sake of argument that Trump is stupid (arguable, I admit) and that Republicans are fascists (yeah, right), and that red states suck (compared to what?) repeating those lines night after night, 100,000 or 500,000 times, just isn’t comedy. It’s tribal signaling. Not to mention boring. Which probably explains why Samantha Bee’s updating her resume...