Cook Like a Conservative

And don’t let the Woke spoil your appetite

The key components of SUNDAY DINNER NUMBER ONE

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A prime target in postmodern progressivism’s campaign to ruin just about everything is our food. Not only are we harassed with the obsessions of vegans, sustainable farming fanatics, et. al, but our cooking and eating choices are subjected to condemnation on grounds of imperialism, colonialism, and cultural appropriation. Julia Child help the heterosexual white male whose last name does not end in a vowel if he ventures to prepare a Mexican or a Chinese dish!

Noah Rothman has this issue covered in his must-read book, The Rise of the New Puritans: Fighting Back Against Progressives' War on Fun, which devotes an entire chapter to comic-horrible stories of Woke mobs savaging chefs and restaurants who failed to check all the goodthinkful boxes on the Ideologically Correct Eats List. But he needs help, and this I propose to do by providing a practical guide to cooking and eating in a manner that the sainted William F. Buckley, Jr. would approve. Herewith, then, is the first of what will be an ongoing series: my menu (with recipes) for a Sunday dinner worthy of the name.

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SUNDAY DINNER NUMBER ONE

First Course: Fresh Green Beans with Bacon & Onions

Main Course: Casserole Roasted Pork Loin with Potatoes & Onions; Sauce Robert

The centerpiece of this dinner is a two-pound boneless pork loin roast, which will easily serve four. (I buy my meat at Costco, where a boneless pork loin as long as your leg goes for less than $30.) The pork receives a dry salt marinade or rub, is refrigerated overnight, and is roasted in a covered casserole with sliced red or yellow (Yukon Gold) potatoes and small boiler onions. Green beans with bacon and onions are served as a first course. Brown mustard sauce (Sauce Robert) accompanies the roast.

Because much of the prep work can be done well in advance, this dinner is easy on the cook.

Marinating the Pork

Per pound of pork:

1 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon crushed thyme or rosemary

1/8 teaspoon pepper

1 bay leaf, crumpled

1 garlic clove, pressed, or 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder

pinch of allspice

Trim exterior fat to about 1/8 inch. Combine all of the above ingredients and rub marinade into the pork. Then place it in a glass baking dish, add three or four sprigs of parsley, cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least 12 hours, turning two or three times. Prior to cooking, scrape off as much of the marinade as possible.

Roasting the Pork

Preheat oven to 350°. In a large skillet, heat 2 tablespoons of vegetable or olive oil. Dry the pork thoroughly on paper towels. When oil is shimmering, brown the pork all over, about 5 minutes. Then transfer the pork to a casserole with cover or a deep roasting pan. (If the latter has no cover, use aluminum foil.) Place in the oven. Cooking time to an internal temperature of about 170° should be 1 1/2 hours; check with an instant meat thermometer at the 3/4-hour mark and every ten minutes or so thereafter. When pork is done, remove to a cutting board and cover with aluminum foil; let rest for a few minutes before slicing.

Cooking the Potatoes and Onions

18-20 small white boiler onions

1 1/2-2 pounds of red or yellow potatoes

To prepare the onions for cooking, drop them into rapidly boiling water for 15 seconds, then drain and run cold water over them. Peel the onions by cutting off a bit of the ends with a small sharp knife, then pinch them between thumb and forefinger until the skin and top layer slide off. Prepare the potatoes by peeling them, then cutting them into 1-inch ovals, which may be halved or quartered if the potatoes are large. These steps may be done well in advance; place onions in a covered container and the sliced potatoes in a bowl, wrapped in a clean damp dish towel, and refrigerate until ready to cook. When the pork has been cooking for 3/4 of an hour, brown the potatoes lightly in vegetable or olive oil, salt them, and add them with the onions to the casserole. They’re done when a knife pierces the potatoes easily. If the pork is done before the vegetables, remove and cover it as described above and return the casserole to the oven for a few more minutes.

Preparing and Cooking the Green Beans, Onions and Bacon

1 pound fresh green beans

1 small yellow onion, peeled and sliced

3 strips of bacon, cut into 1-inch pieces

Trim the ends off the beans and cut them into uniform (about 2 inch) pieces. Bring a large pot of water to the boil. Salt the water, then add the beans and leave them to boil for about 8 minutes. Test for doneness by eating a bean. It should be tender with a bit of crunch. When done, drain the beans, run cold water over them until they’re cold, and set aside, covered with paper towels. (This may be done well in advance.)

In a large skillet, preferably with high straight sides, heat 1 tablespoon oil. Add the bacon and cook for 4-5-minutes, then add the onion and continue cooking until onions are soft and just beginning to brown. Remove bacon and onions to a side dish and pour about half of the oil and bacon drippings out of the skillet. Return to heat, add the green beans, bacon and onion, and toss until piping hot. Season to taste with black pepper and serve immediately.

Preparing the Sauce Robert

2 cups beef stock

2 tablespoons cornstarch

In a small saucepan, combine 2 tablespoons of the stock with the cornstarch and stir together until well blended. Over low heat, gradually add the rest of the stock. Bring to a simmer, stirring occasionally, for about 10 minutes. The sauce is ready when it clears and thickens slightly. Remove from heat, season lightly with salt and pepper, cover, and set aside. (This may be done well in advance.)

1/4 cup yellow onion, finely minced

1 cup dry white wine

In a small skillet, heat 1 tablespoon each of butter and oil. Cook the onions until tender and very lightly browned. Then add the wine and boil it down rapidly, reducing it to about 3 tablespoons. Add to the brown sauce, cover, and set aside. (This may be done while the pork is cooking.)

3 tablespoons Dijon mustard

 2 tablespoons softened butter

1 tablespoon minced parsley

Cream the mustard and butter together. Reheat the brown sauce. Off heat and just before serving, add the creamed mustard and butter and the parsley to the sauce and stir until well incorporated. Pour the sauce into a heated gravy boat or pitcher.

Serving Dinner

A drink before dinner not only promotes sociability but whets the appetite. You can line up the usual suspects—the Manhattan, the Martini, the whiskey and soda—or try something a little different, such as a glass of dry sherry. But too much alcohol risks spoiling the main event, so take it easy!

Since the green beans with bacon and onions are best when hot, I recommend serving them as a savory first course. Then bring in the sliced pork on a large platter, surrounded by the potatoes and onions and garnished with parsley sprigs, and the Sauce Robert. Accompany with sliced French bread or hot dinner rolls and butter. A dry rosé or white wine goes well with this dish. (I prefer rosé.)

When it comes to dessert, I tend to favor the simple and the light, for instance those delicious little tea cakes, Madeleines, lightly dusted with powdered sugar. Accompanied by a glass of Port, Maderia, or best of all Sauternes, the glorious dessert wine of Bordeaux, a Madeleine or two will bring your Sunday dinner to a sweet, satisfying close.

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As a cook, I stand on the shoulders of giants. Thank you, Julia Child, for both the dry salt marinade for pork and Sauce Robert.

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